


Natasha's Prayer

by Caedmon



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 11:49:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1856964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caedmon/pseuds/Caedmon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The sun will come up tomorrow, Clint, but you've gone and sucked all of the warmth right out of it, haven't you? I'll never feel safe in this world again.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Natasha's Prayer

Goddamn you to hell, Clint Barton.

I told you to leave those damn kids and run. I signaled to you that we had been spotted. I yelled, then screamed at you to please, _please_ , just run. Get to safety. Why the hell didn't you listen to me? Why did you ignore me? Have I _ever_ put you in danger? I'd rather die than let any harm come to you. But you didn't trust me, and I'll never know why.

The sun will come up tomorrow, Clint, but you've gone and sucked all of the warmth right out of it, haven't you? I'll eventually fall asleep, but I'll never sleep again without hearing your scream and seeing the light leave your blue eyes. Or even worse, I'll dream of you every night and see you just as you were yesterday morning. Waking from that dream will be a raw hell second only to what I'm living right now. This wound will never heal.

There's no comfort for me in this life anymore, Clint. I will never feel safe in this world again. I'll never know peace. You took all of my security and stability with you when you decided to be a goddamn hero in a hopeless situation. You didn't save anyone at all yesterday. None of those kids survived. All you did was murder the most important person in the world to me. I will never, ever, _ever_ forgive you for that.

Please don't be gone, Clint. Come back. _I need you._ I don't know how to be without you. _Please_ , Clint. Don't leave me like this.

I hate you so much.

I love you even more.

God _damn_ you, Clint.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in June not long after a friend was diagnosed with terminal cancer. We laid him to rest Sunday. I'm not processing very well right now; I think I had a better grasp on it in June when we first found out. 
> 
> I'm so glad I started writing again. Thank you guys for letting me get therapy through the (oft-poorly) written word. <3
> 
> caedmonfaith.tumblr.com


End file.
